E M P A T H Y

Do you strive to understand others and what they are going through or are you quick to judge them based off of stereotypes or assumptions?  I think we can all be guilty of doing both of these things at one time or another throughout our lives. It is extremely important to try and understand other people’s point of view because we don't fully know what they are going through until we truly listen to their story.  Coates says, “I didn't always have things but I had people.” (88) We all desire to have connections and to know that we aren't alone in what we are feeling, who we are, or what we are going through.  

We have access to a lot in this day in age and one of the main things that we have access to today is social media.  Social media is a huge part of our generation and the way we communicate with others. Human connection is something we all desire to have and social media causes us to lose sight of the little things that make a huge impact on us.  When we lose those face to face conversations we don't have to opportunity to truly connect and see what the person is saying. When we can’t see a person face to face we can’t fully empathize or sympathize with what they are going through.  Coates says, “But by then I knew that I wasn't so much bound to a biological ‘race’ as to a group of people.” (119) Through the hardships that Coates and his friends and family have had to face they have built such a beautiful community of people.  They have people to lean on in difficult situations and enjoy life’s greatest joys with. They are people that they trust and love deeply. When we seek temporary wants and desires we lose sight of the most important things in life like friends, faith, hope, and impacting positively on the community and world around us!  Also, Coates says, “I saw them lost in conversation with each other, mother and father, while their sons commanded entire sidewalks with their tricycles. The galaxy belonged to them, and as terror was communicated to our children, I saw mastery communicated to theirs.” (89) Coates obviously loves his son unconditionally and like any parent, doesn't want to see his son struggle.  But he knows he has to let his son learn how to adapt to the real world. It is difficult for Coates to watch his son become conscious of the racially divided society in which he lives. In this quote, Coates illustrates how powerless he and his community feel watching white people take command of every which way they walk. This represents a lack of empathy and understanding shown towards black people when they have struggles that white people will never have to face or will never fully be able to comprehend.  Lastly, Coates says, “And I saw that what divided me from the world was not anything intrinsic to us but the actual injury done by people intent on naming us.” (120) These stereotypes that are created by our society to categorize groups of people, specifically minorities causes us to get further away from connecting and trying to understand others that we might consider ‘different’ than us. I think that we will end up learning that we have more in common with those people that might be ‘different.’ Diversity is beautiful and it is what allows for greater compassion, understanding, and conversations throughout our communities.

Connections with people is so important to our well being.  When we seek to understand other people and what they are struggling with it only gives us a greater ability to feel for others and be more compassionate.  Psychology Today says, “Strong social connection leads to a 50% increased chance of longevity. Social connection strengthens our immune system (research by Steve Cole shows that genes impacted by social connection also code for immune function and inflammation), helps us recover from disease faster, and may even lengthen our life. People who feel more connected to others have lower rates of anxiety and depression.”  Connecting with other human beings not only helps our physical well being but our mental well being as well. Learning to embrace diversity and making connections with anyone you come across will help your well being but it will also help to make a more comfortable and welcoming community for every person, no matter who they are. Marshall B. Rosenberg said, “People heal from their pain when they have an authentic connection with another human being.”